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I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.


I'm thrilled that you're leaving for like 4 days!
THRILLED.
I'm going to live it up.

!

I quit my job yesterday!
I couldn't be happier! :D
And so did Kristen the same day! SO EXCITED.
I haven't felt free like this in a while.
Time to find a better job though.
One that is actually bearable.

Anyways, yesterday was my best friends 18th birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIVSHIH! AND HAYLEY BABY <3
I hope you had as much fun last night as I did.
I love my friends. They are making my senior year everything I had hoped it would be and SO much more.
Thank you for that.
I can't wait for our future adventures!
I will make a more personal post later when I have more time
CLASSY OF 09!


And on a side note, dad, don't worry about me. I'll find my way.
Just let me.

Stressin'

You know how your parents always say "Don't grow up to fast. It's not so much fun being grown up!" or things like that.

Well they're right.
I mean don't get me wrong, I love having a lot more freedom and independence without mommy and daddy having to be completely involved. But there is an incredibly large amount of responsibility that comes with it all.
I'm trying to stay positive and learn and grow from all of this, which I believe I'm doing a good job of.
It kind of annoys me though when my younger friends always complain about things that are just so pointless to even think about. I know I am not totally mature all the time and whatnot, but nonetheless, I feel like I don't fit in with the highschoolers I see everyday. My brain is starving. I'm starving for someone interesting. Someone to help keep my brain from rotting.
I know people like this exist.
Where?
Thats what I want to know.
I am hoping they're all waiting for me in the next chapter of my life.
God, I can't wait.
Only 6 more months!!!!! :D
This makes me happy.

Well other than that, I am having a fabulous senior year!
I think I'll make a blog soon about my friends that mean the most to me. New and old.
For once, I don't feel so alone.
I feel like I have quality friends that care about me, and that I care about as well.
All is well.

AND MY CUTIE SISTA IS SO SMART :D I love her more than anything in the universe! I mean, can you blame me?

Wow the tone of this blog changed a lot from beginning to end :p

I'm really bad at updating this thing.
Well thats probably because there's not much that has been happening lately...
Other than work sucks a shitload and I'm going to try to get a job before I get fired.
My boss is threatening me to pay 30$ (because we were short, but it wasn't my mistake) or she'll "have to hire someone new". I'm like, so what? are you going to fire me? and she's like no but you'll have to stay in the fitting rooms, you can't work the register. I'm like yea that will go well, especially when I open in the morning and work ALONE for 3 hours.
"Sorry I can't sell you this because I'm not allowed to use the register.."
Yea right.

Gah and I lost my ring :( I really liked that ring.
Oh well, it happens.
On a plus note, the holidays are comingggg :D
I fucking love the holidays. And the positive lovey feeling it gives you!
I still have to get everyone their gifts. I'm so bad at stuff like that but I try to make it good :p
Buh byeee.

i haven't updated in a while

I want to meet someone that has such a profound way of thinking.
Someone that can totally open up my mind to different things that I have never seen in that way.
Someone that listens without saying one word, and when he is all done listening, says exactly what I want, actually, what I need to hear.
Someone that isn't uncomfortable with silence. Someone that can sit there with me and observe and think.
Someone that will show me new things. New experiences.
Someone interesting.
Someone that can hold a quality conversation.
Someone that can laugh with me at absolutely nothing.
Someone that will dance with me, music or not.
Someone fearless. Regretless.
Motivated. Ambitious. Dominant.

Well, we all can dream right.


I feel redundant. My blog is redundant, therefore pointless.
Isn't that lovely.

As I sip my coffee through a bendy straw

I feel like the time has come for my world to come crashing down yet again.
I feel like everything that I was so happy about 2 months ago has faded.
My crush has faded.
The excitement of my new job has faded.
The excitement of my new car has faded.
The excitement of my senior year has faded.
The excitement for anything is gone. And I want it back.
I fell into a routine. Oh, how I hate routines.
Sometimes I wish a meteor would hit my backyard or something like that. That would be pretty exciting, right?
So where do I stand now?
Boy-less. Crush-less for that matter.
I hate my job.
I can't get the job I would kill for.
School is a waste of my time. I do nothing all day.
And I want some passion in my life.
Some goals.
Something to look forward to. To aspire to.
Oh and I almost forgot. Fucking Obama won. AND prop 8 passed. I don't think it could really get any worse than that right there.


You see, I notice how most of my friends are ridiculously good at something. Whether it be art, music, or athletics.
And what am I good at?
I don't know either.
I see all the talent around me and I can't help but to feel small. Insignificant. Uninteresting.
This blog entry just goes to show how uninteresting I can be.
I want to be good at art too. And singing. And music.
Anything.
Because I am nothing.
I do nothing.
I like nothing.
I will be nothing.

Well at least I cleared things up with my brother. I hated the tension between us. I wish he would hug me. We've gotten closer over the years because we've grown up. But he still won't hug me. I wonder when or if he ever will.

I need a hug. I would really like one.


I know that no one reads this. Or even if they do read my blog they won't read this entry. It's too long and boring and unimportant.

America the beautiful

is a country full of ignorant dumbshits.
have fun with all your 'change'.
because im thinking its not going to be the change you were planning on. its not going to be the good kind.
im thinking a nice one way ticket to new zeland is looking pretty friendly.

have fun with osama binladen. i mean obama and biden.
unbelievable.